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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Marvel Comics Rant (Triggered By Nothing In Particular)


I think reached my breaking point with Marvel about fifteen to twenty years ago. (Movies aside, many of which I like. I'm talking about the comics themselves.) I was an avid and exclusive Marvel Comics collector for years... then I just stopped. It was a matter of finances, as well getting fed up with all the bloat. But had the comic habit been worth it to me I'd have found a way to keep buying.

When I try to think of specific reasons I just said "Screw it," one thing that comes to mind is Wolverine
Burnout. For a while Wolverine, despite appearing in his own titles and the multitude of X-Men titles they had going at the time, somehow made time to make guest appearances in every other issue of every other comic Marvel put out. I exaggerate, yes, but only slightly. I burnt out on the heavily cliched gruff antihero, and because there was no way I could seek refuge from the Marvel's bottom ho while still reading Marvel comics, I think I simply chose to stop reading. (And what's sad, from what I can tell with my furtive flirtations with Marvel comics in the comics stores or from my friends' collections, I don't think they ever stopped doing that.)

I'd bitch about X-Men in general, except I never bought into their hype. The comics, anyway. Conceptually, they were cool. But the comics I read were largely jumbled messes, and you had to be familiar with their backstory (convoluted even by Marvel standards) and the double handful of tie-in series they had going to follow what was going on.


Of course there was all the silly stuff they did to Spider-Man, my fave; another thing that made me throw my hands up and made me want to be done with it all. Of course, I see Marvel's logic in this. (Because when you have a good thing, a character beloved by millions, why not go the George Lucas route and fuck it? Fuck it 'til it cries, fuck it 'til the voiced outrage of a world of Spidey fanboys shakes the heavens, keep fucking it 'til it's dead, bring it back with defibrillator paddles and then fuck it some more, fuck it until you have to register on every sex crimes database in the Western Hemisphere... but you still get to fuck it because it's your bitch, right?) Marvel whored Spider-Man out as much as they did Wolverine, and they still do. "Wait, sales of The Toad flagging? And we've used Wolverine in the last two issues? Hmmm... Let's throw in Spidey!" I think Peter was on his third or so existential "But I don't wanna be Spider-Man waaaah!" 
crisis when I just stopped caring if he did.


Maybe I shouldn't have though, since Marvel has cleaned up its act and haven't done bad by their flagship hero since then. (Well, except for making Peter Parker a clone of the real Spider-Man... except oh wait he's not a clone the original is actually the clone we were just kidding LOLs! Or the approximate twenty-three goddamned iterations of Venom, each more fucked up than the last, making the original Black Costume the AIDS of the Marvel Universe that just keeps infecting people at an exponential rate until the world is nothing but psychopathic symbiotes. And then Peter revealing his secret identity on national TV. And then trading his wife Mary Jane to Mephisto for Aunt May or maybe stimulus money, or some bullshit like that. Other than just that, they've done right by Spidey.)

I'm not bitter or anything. Really, I'm not. I've moved on with DC. We're happy so far, but nothing serious, I see other comics and it's all good. I wish the whor-- er, I wish Marvel all the best.
But hey, at least Marvel has made some good movies lately. Right?

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